A Confession Part 2

For Halloween in 6th grade, I dressed up as Tina Turner, heels and brown-face included. And threw a party. At a church youth center.

We don't need another drag queen.

bright idea

dear jesus,

please build a giant air conditioner for when I need to go outside in the 100 degree heat. I understand that Global Warming was supposed to help this but...wrong again! Listen to me this time, GIANT.AIR.CONDITIONER.

Thanks,
hot.

My joke...

I read this while perusing the VH1 Best Week Ever blog and seriously can't stop telling it to people...the reactions are my favorite part.

"Knock Knock"
"Who's there?"
"9/11"
"9/11 who?"
"You said you'd never forget!!!"

there ya go.

Only One!

If someone asked you to describe yourself by telling ONE joke that encompasses your sense of humor/style/personality as much as possible, what would it be?

I'm curious. I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours.


p.s: Follow me on TWITTER if you're a nerd like that.

She won't go to her timeout chair...

Do you think Super Nanny would help me with my cat?

Memphis Pride

I think it was PRIDE or something in Memphis yesterday...it smelled of gay outside.

The parade goes right by Cafe Ole and I was waiting on a table (as I tend to do when in the mood):

Guy: What's going on? Some sort of gay parade?
Me: Correct.

Which got me to thinking...what clued that guy in first?
The men dressed like women?
The women who look like men?
The guys kissing other guys?
Madonna?
The feeling that everyone left skittles in their washing machines?

Whatever it was, that guy picked up on it.

This girl had on rainbow eyeshadow. Overkill or awesome? Not sure. Too much rainbow makes my head hurt.

I wanted to throw eggs at the parade. Not because I don't like the gays...but I'm pretty anti-parades without elephants.

That's all.

New job?

I need a job that puts my amazing text messaging ability to good/world-saving use.

Any ideas?