Scratch n' Sniff blog #2

This is a scratch and sniff blog!

*sniff here*

on a downtown trolley

Long time no bloggy! I have received many a letter-bomb and smoke signal saying things like "Eric, where's the blog???" and "hey man, you're the only blog on the Internet that says stuff about stuff I don't care about...where did ya go????".

After months and months of debating whether to let these people commit suicide or to update my blog, I decided on the latter. Why? Because I'm sitting in a lesbian bar by myself leeching their free Internet and drinking their $2.50 beers and I have nothing else to do.

Long story short: I've been unemployed. I have no Internet at home. It makes blogging difficult. And even if I HAD Internet at home all I've been doing is sitting on my futon eating Ramen noodles and trying to make wine out of the cat. So there.

So after a month of searching I have found a day job. It pays nothing and is wayyyyy more exercise than I'm used to but it gives me something to do and gives my butt a rest. I've been passing out menus/promoting a new restaurant in downtown Memphis which is MUCH harder than I thought. My leg muscles soon will be able to crush your head!!!! MUHAHAHA!

Here are some things I've encountered in my week of downtown adventure.

• Numerous people peeing all over the place.
  
• People chasing me down trying to give me Jesus pamphlets. They won't even take a menu in return. "I don't need literature on how to be a sinner son"...wow.
• On Veteran's Day instead of watching the parade I watched grown people fight children for the candy being thrown in the streets. The children never won.
• A guy seriously tried to give me a box full of ceramic ducks "for the restaurant" and started screaming loudly when I wouldn't take it. At least he took a menu.
• Trolleys don't have to obey street lights and don't have to recognize pedestrians.

Nothing too exciting. And now my fingers are tired because I'm not used to doing anything but sitting around and watching the same episodes of The Simpsons over and over (I make my own commentary). Until next time ya'll!!! P.S: Send money!