Today, whilst perusing Facebook for the 20th time in a mere 5 minute span, I noticed a group was formed all about planning our ten year high school reunion. Now, I knew it was inevitable and deep down I really knew we were coming up on it but still my initial reaction was "Nuh uh, I just graduated".
So after that shock I immediately went into panic-mode. Even though, thanks to assholes like Facebook, everyone knows what's up with me anyway. So I'm compiling a list of things to get done before said reunion. Or else I'm sending someone in my place. WHICH I really think would be hilarious. Especially if I can talk Spencer Pratt into it...or Oprah (people believe anything she says).
So far, here is my list:
1) Go on a 5 month fast, like Jesus did.
2) Borrow a baby or two so I can fit in with over half the people there...like Jesus did.
3) Convince someone to pretend to be my wife
4) Convince a hot guy to pretend to be my "business partner" that I brought along just for the heck of it and have my "wife" be perfectly oblivious.
5) Sex change
6) Two sex changes
7) If the fast doesn't work I want to gain about 300lbs and be escorted in on a crane. Now THAT'S an entrance!
If all else fails I'll probably go, get really wasted, and not remember any of it. Oh man, I wish it was tomorrow!!!
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1 comment:
I will be your fake and oblivious wife. ;)
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