Funemployed?

This little vacation from the work world that I recently, on my own accord, decided to take has been exhausting, eye-opening, exhausting, frustrating, utter BS, annoying, and other words that mean "I fucking hate it". But, while I sit here listening to my spirit animal Diana Ross sing me uplifting words about being touched in the morning and that love song about the dinosaurs...I realize I have learned some things. Here's a list, bookmark it so if you ever decide to take a vacation to Depressingville U.S.A, you can save yourself some soul searching and spend your time applying for jobs instead.

1. When you're broke, Ramen is a great breakfast/lunch/dinner/late night snack
2. Future employers do not enjoy the smell of Beef Flavoring coming from your mouth when you speak
   
3. Cats do not like Ramen but refuse to help with the bills.
   
4. You talk a lot about food that costs 33 cents.
5. You see other unemployed people walking the streets, you try to befriend them and come up with a strategy together, they have to hire one of you right? You hold meetings in abandoned parking lots and church steps but they only want to talk about God and biscuits.
   
6. You start to realize why these other people are unemployed.
7. You start to realize you're turning into one of those people and spend the rest of the week eating Ramen alone in your room and crying into your empty vodka bottle.
   
8. Job applications ask really stupid questions: "What Elementary School did you go to and what subjects did you study?"..."Well, I was the Champion Heads-Up-7-Up player in our school for 3 years. And if you need me to get us through the Oregon Trail, I'm your man!".
9. Those doing the hiring don't really give extra points for being a smart-ass on your application...Starbucks has NO sense of humor.
10. Craigslist is only good for job searching if you're looking for a job as a tranny hooker...and you want to die. I saw that Lifetime movie (like 90 times cuz I have nothing else to do).
    

But the number one thing I've come to realize during all this is...I NEED A JOB!

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