The perfect way to bring down the crime rate.

It's no secret that I work in a restaurant. Two, in fact. Well, at one of these particular eating establishments (which I shall refer to as Slaggy's because it's my blog and I can do what I want)...so at Slaggy's every now and then the Court system or whoever brings in certain juries for their dinner. 15 or so people all followed around by police escorts whenever they go to the bathroom or get up to pick their nose in private or whatever people in juries do.

Well, today at Slaggy's I just happened to go over and take a nice long look at the "citizens" in this jury. The "group of persons sworn to render a verdict or true answer on a question or questions officially submitted to them". Now, I understand that this is supposed to be an impartial mix of all different types of voting citizens in the community but to me it looks like they go down to the local nuthouse and let everyone out for a field trip for a couple of hours. These people are THRILLED to be out in public but I agree with whoever decided it was against everyone's wishes that they be seen or integrate with the public at all...ever.

There's the crazy woman with sticks in her hair poking at Slaggy's sugar caddies like they might attack her at any second and she wants the Splenda to know who the boss is at the table (Spoiler: It's the Splenda). There's the guy hitting on the crazy Splenda-fighting-stick-haired woman. There's the one normal woman sitting in a corner eating cheesecake and you can just tell she's about to burn something down. And then. Then there's the best of all...

There's the woman who, when her salad with vinaigrette is brought out she stares at it for a long time...stares at it a little longer and says "Did I order this? To tell the truth, I'm not really sure what I ordered. Is this ranch?". "No, ma'am it's Vinaigrette". "Is that what I like? Is that what I ordered? Hm...Okay!".

So here's a little thing to keep in the back of your head next time you are contemplating a felony of any kind.

DO YOU WANT THE FATE OF YOUR LIFE RESTING IN THE HANDS OF THE WOMAN WHO DOESN'T KNOW IF SHE ORDERED RANCH OR VINAIGRETTE ON A SALAD SHE'S NOT EVEN SURE SHE ORDERED IN THE FIRST PLACE??? DO YOU???

I rest my case your honour.