Dear Midtown,

If you happen to be in the area of this:






could you possibly help them tear this down faster by throwing bombs at it or hitting it with a shovel or with your empty PBR cans so that I can sleep past 7am?

Thank you,
Disgruntled and sleepy in Memphis

My diet secrets

So I've started this diet (yesterday) where I only eat half of my meals and I'd like to say, so far so good.

For lunch, I started off by having some grilled salmon and a small salad and only ate half of it. GO ERIC! I drank water the rest of the day and then my friend bought me a nice little box of delicious chocolates which I immediately ripped open the heart-shaped-box and proceeded to eat only HALF of each piece of chocolate! I was really on a roll!

For dinner I decided to head over to the Young Avenue Deli and normally I would've had a few drinks and ripped into a full order of their amazing cheese sticks. Nope, not New Eric! New Eric had only HALF an order of those cheese sticks! In your face fat!

Today might be a little harder but I have my meals planned already:
Breakfast: One hotdog instead of two
Lunch: Half a box of wine
Dinner: The other half of that box

It's time for change ya'll!